Not any more

Election timeline: Toronto votes to stop the gravy

In Canada on October 26, 2010 at 09:10

Didn’t make time to watch the election results roll in tonight? The Post’s Scott Stinson did it for you:

7:00 CP24 is first off the mark with the coverage, featuring a three-headed team of Ann Rohmer, Stephen LeDrew, and his red eyeglasses.

7:03 CP24 wants you know they are ALL OVER THIS THING. They have reporters with the mayoral candidates and in many wards. And, um, a streetcar called the CP24 Express. If Rob Ford wins, the CP24 Express will be immediately decommissioned.

7:05 Hey, there’s Ben Mulroney and Melissa Greco at CP24 Election Night Red Carpet Party HQ! I’m not sure why CP24 has a party happening, actually. Don’t the candidates hold those?

7:12 A reporter is at the Ford household in Etobicoke. And, oh dear, she has Mr. Ford’s toddler daughter on camera. Awfully early to be resorting to the little kid shots, isn’t it? Young Stephanie is wearing a pink sleeper that is the colour of her Dad’s face.

7:15 Stephen and Ann throw to Stephanie Smythe and Nathan Downey at the Results Desk, which has an incredibly high-tech system that will have results AS THEY HAPPEN. In 45 minutes or so. Give or take.

7:18 A reporter is at the Congress Centre, site of the Rob Ford victory (or possibly loss) party. She toots a wooden train whistle. They are being handed out to attendees. My goodness, that is going to make some kind of racket. She says they are a symbol of the Ford plan to stop the gravy train. Ah. It would be cooler if they handed out packets of gravy. Also tastier.

7:25 Over to Pooja Handa, who has the lucky assignment of riding the CP24 Express. They will use the streetcar to interview Torontonians, she says. So it’s like doing interviews on the sidewalk. But it moves, see? Such innovation!

7:26 TTC Chairman Adam Giambrone is on the CP24 Express. Say, wasn’t he running for Mayor at some point? (He is, notably, alone.)

7:32 Breaking news! Woman faints at polling station! Live coverage! How could this happen in David Miller’s Toronto?

7:33 Well, she’s fine. Good job, David Miller’s Toronto.

7:40 Back at the Ford household, and the mayoral hopeful is trying to give an interview with his two kids on his lap. It is frankly, disastrous. Stephanie is bouncing up and down on his lap, clearly excited to see herself on the TV monitor. “Steph,” he says. “Steph, easy now.” She bounces higher and higher, whacking her father in the face with the back of her head. “Steph,” he says, a bit more loudly. “Settle down.” She waves a stuffed flamingo around, making sure her pet gets some camera time. “Steph!” he says, kind of anxious. GOOD GOD, HE CAN’T CONTROL HIS CHILDREN HOW CAN HE RUN THE CITY????. “Be good, Steph,” he says, pleading now. The camera tightens on Dad, but Steph manages to wave her hand in front of his face. The shot goes wide again, and she starts making faces. SOMEONE TAKE THE CHILD AWAY, ALREADY. I have to say, Mr. Ford’s elocution is pretty good, despite the gritted teeth.

7:45 Finally the interview is over. It felt like an eternity. Clearly Rob Ford is able to handle crises with aplomb.

7:55 For the record, I have a four-year-old daughter and wouldn’t let her within 100 feet of a live TV camera. I can’t get her to be quiet, either.

8:03 The polls have closed! Over to the Results Desk. Nothing yet. Just you wait, though.

8:05 A reporter informs us that each ward is a microcosm of the entire city. Give that fella a dictionary, open to “microcosm.”

8:06 Over at the Red Carpet party, Ben Mulroney says everyone is excited to say that they were at a cool party when the next mayor of Toronto was announced. Sure they are, Ben.

8:08 Ben excitedly throws it back to the Decision Desk, which CALLS IT FOR ROB FORD. Good heavens, that was fast. Oddly, the graphic at the bottom of the screen still says 26% of polls are reporting.

8:12 Mr. Ford says he can’t wait to stop the gravy train. He looks a little stunned, actually.

8:12 Finally the poll graphic updates. With 63% of polls reporting, Mr. Ford indeed has a huge lead. The super-early call appears accurate.

8:14 Back at the Ford house, young Steph is mercifully nowhere to be seen.

8:20 Over at Smitherman party HQ, it’s looking bleak.

8:25 Leafs GM Brian Burke is at the Red Carpet party! He wishes the new Mayor well. How much will this news impact what goes on at the ACC, he is asked. Mr. Burke looks suitably confused. Mr. Ford, so far as Mr. Burke knows, will not have any influence on the Maple Leafs roster. The Argos are another matter.

8:26 Why has no one asked the CP24 Express what it makes of all this?

8:40 Joe Pantalone looks kind of sad. At least he can take comfort in having not handed the election to Rob Ford.

8:43 Over in Mississauga, Hazel McCallion has, not surprisingly, a huge lead. She says this is because the TV media tells the truth and the print media twists it to suit its needs. She says the print media has been running a six-month campaign against her, “every day.” Is there such a thing as a sore winner?

8:44 Mississauga: Definitely not ageist.

8:54 At the Red Carpet party, Ben interviews a stock analyst. What impact will this new Mayor have on Bay Street, he is asked. None, he is told.

8:55 So we have learned that Mayor Rob Ford will affect neither the TSX nor the Leafs roster. Good work there, folks.

9:06 Pollster Nik Nanos: “If you’re a federal Liberal organizer, you have to be sh-sh-shaking your head right now.” I really thought he was going to say something else that starts with “sh” there. And ends with “your pants.”

9:08 George Smitherman is up. Says he hopes for Rob Ford’s success in the future. Classy move.

9:18 Back to Stephen and Ann. I wonder if she’ll point out that Joe Pantalone has received 10 times the votes that LeDrew had when he ran for mayor in 2006.

9:39 Still waiting for Rob Ford’s speech. Maybe he’s been trying in vain to put Stephanie to bed. BEEN THERE, MR. MAYOR-ELECT.

9:49 He’s finally walking to the stage. How soon until he makes a “gravy train” reference?

9:50 About one minute.

National Post
sstinson@nationalpost.com

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